Goat Simulator

In Play

Goat Simulator is an open-world simulation where one plays as the titular goat. Much like the Tony Hawk series, causing more carnage and performing more tricks gets you more points, and there are a host of hidden surprises and achievements that can be found and earned.

There are two areas: one suburban and one semi-urban. Despite the architecture being super-American, the world is mostly populated by people with strange European accents wearing tracksuits in an array of bright colours. It’s a strange combination but certainly adds to the whole dream-like quality of the game.

As the goat you can head butt, lick and drag objects, jump, swim and make yourself go all floppy (“ragdoll”).  Most of the fun in the game comes from the hidden spots and strange bugs you stumble across; I don’t want to give too much away but I do highly recommend riding the speedboat and also checking out the area around the wind turbines. There’s a world of trouble back there.

To give you a sample of what can happen in this game, earlier I was enticed by the sound of heavy bass. I followed the music and crashed through someone’s front window to see a woman dancing awkwardly up against a painting of a fish. I licked her TV, wrecking most of the room, and her massive pile of cash on the table.

I then accidentally licked the white powdery mound next to it, which I soon discovered would bring on an incredibly strong “sugar rush”; I was moving at twenty times the speed, the screen was pink and I could barely press a button without launching myself into the nearest wall. I admit I went back and licked that sugar mound multiple times with varying degrees of success.

This is Goat Simulator in a nut shell – mindless, ridiculous fun in a truly bizarre setting. If you have a penchant for sandbox games and a morbid sense of fun, then I implore you to embrace the ways of the goat.

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